Last week, I bought a new (used) car. I didn’t expect it to turn into a full-blown lesson in decision-making… but here we are.
As I went through the decision-making process (deciding it was time to make a change, researching options, weighing things up, second-guessing myself, and then still questioning it even after I’d made a thoroughly informed decision), it struck me just how similar it was to what clients go through when changing career.
Different context. Same decision-making process.
Here are the steps I noticed. Perhaps you can see yourself in one of these.
STEP 1: Deciding a change is needed
My car was starting to show signs of wear and tear, and I was starting to moan about it more and more. It wasn’t fast enough. It looked good on the outside (sporty convertible) but I felt the engine wasn’t that quick. It was starting to feel a bit small for the family, and a few other things were niggling at me about it. I’d been saying for a while that ‘I need a new car’ but, this time, I’d made the decision to actively start the process of looking to change it. We all know what a hassle that can be.
That’s the first step of a career change, too. Moving from just thinking about it, to actively committing to the process it takes to change, and starting it. You know it’s going to take time but you step into a space of knowing you’re now going to do something about it.
STEP 2: Getting clear on what actually matters to you
Just like careers, there are SO many different cars out there. When I first started looking, I found myself getting pulled in all directions. Everyone had an opinion, too.
“You should get this one.”
“I’ve heard that’s not a good choice.”
“Why would you go for that?”
And yes, sometimes it’s helpful.
But ultimately:
They don’t have to drive the car every day. You do.
Same goes for your career.
Other people aren’t living your day-to-day reality. They’re not the ones sitting at your desk, in your meetings, in your working week.
You are.
So whilst it’s fine to listen, don’t outsource the decision.
Different opinions. Different features. Different “shoulds”.
But none of that external noise helped until I got clear on one thing:
What do I actually want from this car?
Not what looks good to others.
Not what other people rate highly.
Not what I think I should choose.
What I need.
Career change is exactly the same.
Until you’re clear on your priorities — what you enjoy, what you value, what gives you purpose, what you want your life to look like (which is what we get clear on in the Explore phase of the coaching programme I offer) — every option will feel confusing.
You’re not struggling to choose.
You’re just not clear on what your criteria is yet. You have no reference point to make your decisions against. By getting clear on what your priorities and needs are, you can then assess which careers would suit you best.
So, with my criteria clearer, I was able to narrow down my options. However, some of these cars I had no experience with. I’d never even sat in them. How on earth was I supposed to know if they were right for me?
STEP 3: You can’t make a decision without a “test drive”
I could read and watch every car review going. I could look at photos of cars all day. It still wasn’t enough. I had to get in the car and actually drive it to know if it was right for me.
This is the same when considering a new career, especially if it’s quite different to what you currently do. You have to try it some way, get a feel for it, see how it feels to you being in the driving seat.
Interestingly, some of the cars that looked great on paper just didn’t feel right when I sat in them. I knew straight away, either just by looking at the car in real life, or as soon as I sat in it.
We need to really experience something to know if it’s right for us. And each person will experience a completely different feeling in that moment. For some, it will be a fit. For others, it won’t. But you won’t know unless you try it. You can look at something from afar, and think about it for ages, but nothing helps you gain clarity more than trying it some way. Clarity comes from doing, not just thinking.
This is something I talk about a lot with clients. Whilst we’re working together, they are encouraged to take different careers for a 'test drive' in the form of Shift Projects.
These might look like:
Anything that helps you experience the new career in some way so that you can make a decision on whether it’s right for you. Does it have all the factors you want from a career?
STEP 4: Accepting Compromise
In order to finally make a decision, I had to accept that there needed to be some sort of compromise in there somewhere. No car, or career, is perfect. Unless I wanted to spend a fortune, I wasn’t going to find a car that matched my criteria 100%. I had to work out where the wiggle room was.
It’s the same with careers. You have to decide what you’re willing to sacrifice or compromise on. What option is good enough? Sometimes it’s impossible to make a decision when we’re searching for the absolute best option - because, often, there just isn’t one. All careers have an aspect that won’t be quite right. It’s important to understand what your non-negotiables are, and be flexible on some of the other criterion. For me, the car wasn’t as new as I would have liked - I went for something a bit older, but with a bigger engine and higher spec, so it has more of the speed and tech that I originally wanted.
Remember, there is no perfect option.
Only a choice that’s right enough for you, based on what you know right now.
And if it’s not quite right?
You’re not stuck.
You learn. You adjust. You make a better decision next time, based on everything you learnt from the decision you made this time around.
STEP 5: Living with your decision
Having test driven the car, I made the decision it was right for me, and went about the long, drawn out process of working through all the relevant paperwork, etc. I arranged the day to pick it up. When it came to driving off, I took one last look back at my old car (which I was part exchanging) and felt a pang of sadness. I suddenly doubted whether I was making the right decision. What if I drove off and felt I’d made a mistake?
Again, it’s likely to be the same when changing career because…
The comfort zone is strong.
You might miss your old career.
It’s familiar. Easy. You know exactly how it works. You feel confident in it. You know what you are doing.
The new one feels different. You have no idea how it works. It’s all new to you. You feel uncomfortable because, all of a sudden, you’re a novice again.
None of this means it was the wrong decision. These are all normal feelings to have when moving into something new, whether that be a new car or a new career. The brain doesn’t like being out of it’s comfort zone, and it will do anything to try and get you to stick with what you know, because it sees being out of routine as a threat to life. Just remind yourself that it’s a new career, and you can cope with that. No risk to life here!
There might have been in my new car though! On the first day of having it, I scraped it on the corner of my house, trying to get into my narrow driveway. And then I did exactly the same thing again on the second day! Can you believe it?!
Cue the spiral of doubts:
“I can’t do this.”
“I’m not good at this.”
“I’ve made the wrong decision.”
“Maybe I should just go back to the old one.”
This is so common in career change.
You leave something you’re good at, step into something new, and suddenly feel like a beginner again.
That doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It just means it’s new.
Lo and behold, now it’s been a week, I feel more confident driving my new car. I love driving it, and I’ve learnt how to park it without crashing into my house (good job 360 cameras were part of my essential criteria!). Of course, sometimes I miss my old car. It would’ve been great with the top down in the sunshine, but then I remember how slow and small it was, and I settle for opening my new panoramic sunroof. Compromise, baby.
The urge to rush is real
One thing I also found fascinating whilst I was going through this process was how uncomfortable it made me and people around me. Being in limbo land, where I knew I wanted a change, but struggling to make a decision, was a horrible place to be. That in-between stage — not where you were, not yet where you’re going — is uncomfortable.
I was getting really stressed for some reason. It was taking up a lot of headspace. I felt really quite unsettled. I desperately just wanted to make a decision, just to get away from that overwhelming feeling of not being able to decide. As humans, we do not like that liminal stage of decision making. It’s deeply unsettling, which is why coaching is such a helpful process to accompany the career change process. It holds and supports you through the ups and downs, and slows you down, so you don’t make an impulsive decision driven by a desire to get away from uncomfortable feelings and fear as quick as possible. I told myself that I needed to just sit in that middle ground, that there was no rush, and that it was more important that I made a decent decision rather than a rushed one just to get away from those feelings.
I also noticed that other people just wanted me to make a decision, too. People kept asking, "Have you decided yet?" "Just make a decision" etc. The in-between stage was making them uncomfortable, too. There was a risk the people-pleaser in me might take over and just make a decision to get them off my back, and stop making them uncomfortable. However, I persevered, took my time, and sat with it until I arrived at a conclusion I was happy with. Same goes for careers - don't feel rushed by others to make a decision. If people feel uncomfortable because you don't know what you want to do yet, let them. If you haven't decided, say so, and then watch them squirm! It's OK not to fit in a box for a while.
So, remember, when it comes to career change, you’re in the driving seat.
No one else is driving the car for you every day.
And no one else is living your career for you either.
So when it comes to making a decision:
Because you will.
If you’re in that in-between stage right now — unsure what to do next, going round in circles — just know that this is part of the decision-making process.
It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re in it. You'll be out the other side of it before you know it.
If you really have no idea what matters to you in a career, or what you want to do instead, give me a shout and we can work through that together. Get ready to go on some test drives though!
Alice coaches those who want to change career but don’t know what they want to do instead. She offers Career Coaching designed to help career-changers gain a clear vision of what career is right for them, and how to achieve it. She is also an accredited Coach Supervisor, and host of The Career Change Diaries podcast.
