The Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem


Today’s sermon comes from that of Catherine Cardinal (appropriate name hey!), author of The Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem (1998). I love this short book because it is so simple and straightforward.

I thought it apt to start the New Year with a piece about self-esteem as it is often the fundamental issue that holds us back from moving on and achieving our goals. So whatever your New Year resolution is, be sure to follow the below guide:

  1. Spend time with those that make you feel good about yourself. Stick with those that make you feel valued and listened to. Ditch those that make you feel guilty, inadequate or like you have to pretend to be someone else to keep the friendship going.
  2. Don’t waste time trying to figure out why people behave the way they do. You’re never going to know why they acted all crazy and inconsistent like that. Move on. It will drive you crazy trying to figure it all out by yourself.
  3. Avoid those more dysfunctional than yourself. Keep company with those with similar values and coping mechanisms as you. You may feel drained otherwise.
  4. Trust your instincts. Healthy choices come from listening to your body. Trust your judgements.
  5. Say no, change your mind and express your true feelings as often as you like. Ignore the reactions of others. Speaking your mind = feeling empowered.
  6. Do what is right for you, not others. “Selfish merely means having a sense of sense”; it is not a negative thing to be.
  7. Only give what you can to others. You may feel exhausted and drained otherwise.
  8. It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Value yourself and the views of others will fall into perspective. Negative comments are usually more related to the person’s own issues rather than you personally.
  9. You are where the party is at! You are in the right place. Stop the search for better things and enjoy the moment.
  10. Sing your own praises. Think of yourself as a product if you like and sell it to the public! Ignore your negative thoughts and shout about the positive ones.

So, give it a go. Live by these rules in 2012 and see how you get on. I think you can’t help but feel strong, courageous, empowered and motivated when you follow them.

Alice Stapleton

About Alice

Alice coaches those who want to change career but don’t know what they want to do instead. She offers Career Coaching designed to help graduates, early to mid-level career-changers, and parents returning to work gain a clear vision of what career is right for them, and how to achieve it. She is also an accredited Coach Supervisor, and host of The Career Change Diaries podcast.