Although coaching has been around for many years, the majority of people still don't know what it is or what's involved. Here, the most common myths about Life Coaching are dispelled and an accurate picture painted of what coaching really is.
Author : Alice Stapleton
Alice is a Career Coach who specialises in working one to one with those in their 20s/early 30s who are considering a change in their career, having fallen in to a job they have now outgrown.
Articles by Alice Stapleton
Short interview for AskimoTV on Positive Thinking, what it is, the importance of thinking positively and how you can train yourself to view things from a more optimistic viewpoint.
Let’s face it, even if we love our job, the thought of the first day/week back at work after the Christmas and New Year break can feel pretty crappy. I’ve been doing one or two things, which I feel are making that first week back seem bearable and I’m actually starting to look forward to it. I’ve listed these things below to help you look forward to going back to work too.
We often interpret situations inaccurately. We add two and two together and get five. We wrongly piece together information about what has happened and what has been said.
At the end of each year, I like to review what I've achieved that year, what's gone well and what I'd rather forget. This exercise is a great way to do that. It also encourages you to think about what you'd like to get out of 2015. By thinking ahead you gain an idea of what actions you need to put in place to achieve next year's goals.
Last week, I attended a talk on self-discipline. It’s an issue I work on quite a lot with my clients, as it’s hard to embed new habits and routines when our old ones are so ingrained. Here I share the five elements of self-discipline that we have to work on if we are to be motivated, productive and achieve the goals we set ourselves.
There are very few people who genuinely relish the morning routine or whom are able to maintain the same level of enthusiasm when going to work each and every day. However, that being said, work still provides an important focus and sense of purpose for the vast majority of us. If you're seriously dreading every Monday morning, and find yourself counting down the hours each day, it may be time to reassess. Here are five signs that it's probably time to quit your job.
Many workers in London are thrust into a busy, competitive and hectic pace of life, which leaves little opportunity for reflection or foresight. Taking the time to take stock and think through what you want in a safe, objective space can be really rewarding. A Life Coach can help you get back on track with your goals, rather than rushing through life with little thought or self-awareness of whether the path you're going down is the right one for you. As a Life & Career Coach, I offer face to face sessions to clients all across London, and further afield by telephone or Skype.
The other week I went to a seminar on the use of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques in coaching. Many coaches I know are trained in NLP but it’s not something I've looked too much in to in the past as my background is CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) so I was keen to find out a little more about it.
I’m not really sure where September went to be honest. I usually write a post each month but somehow October has just appeared out of nowhere! Anyway, here we are again in the last quarter of the year. Time to turn over a new Autumn leaf and get going on those goals you wanted to achieve by the end of 2012.
I’ve always been known as the lazy one in my family. I’m not that fit, I don’t like running and generally, I’d rather be in bed than get out of it to do ‘exercise’. I used to sleep till midday if I didn’t have anything else to do. That was how people knew me. And I have to say, I wasn’t that happy. Looking back, I always felt quite low, used to over-think things and felt like a blob with no energy.
If 2014 is the year you’ve set yourself to finally launch your dream business then this interview is for you. If not, then I’m sure you will find it inspiring anyway.
Can't see the wood for the trees? When we know we aren’t at our happiest, it can be hard work trying to figure out which bit of our lives to focus on first. We end up losing sight of the bigger picture because we spend all our time worrying about and focusing on all the different thoughts racing around in our heads. So how can we start to see the bigger the picture?
Having seen quite a few clients already this year, and heard about their Christmas breaks, it reminded me of the pressure that people in their late 20s and early 30s face from family, friends and society to "settle down and have kids". I experienced the same questions over Christmas - "When are you going to have children? You're not getting any younger. I had three kids at your age." In this post, I explore why it's OK to be single at 30.
This is a short video I made introducing myself and what I do as a Career/Life Coach. Have a watch if you'd like to find out more about coaching and what to expect from working with me.
Following on from my article last month on how to overcome rejection, it made sense for this month’s post to focus on building self-confidence. We face some form of rejection almost every day, which can impact how confident you feel. How can you build yourself up again, or maintain the self-confidence you may already have? Here are five tips on how to do just that.
Article exploring the negative characteristics those in their 20s and early 30s are being labeled with in the workplace.
I’ve been working with a budding writer recently and he sent me this great take on a well known parable.
Throughout my career as a coach for young professionals, clients have often commented on the changing dynamics of their friendships throughout their 20s. It can be a confusing time. I think this little poem can help you understand why some friendships might begin to change as we grow older.
As you may be aware, in January I presented the findings of my research on the quarter-life crisis at the 8th Annual Coaching and Mentoring Research Conference. You can view the Prezi presentation that I used here and this blog post accompanies this presentation as it might not make much sense on its own.
Bear with me here, I do have a point! Having got in to road cycling about a year ago, my passion for the sport has had its ups and downs. At first, I just wanted to give up. It was so hard (because I was unfit and didn’t know how to cycle efficiently) and everyone was so much faster than me. I couldn’t keep up and felt like a failure.
"When are you free next?" I dread it when a friend asks me this question. The answer usually involves me flicking through the pages in my diary, freaking out at all the commitments I’ve penciled in and then having to suggest a date in about six weeks time.
Yesterday, British Summer Time began. This warrants a huge high five! To celebrate this period of transition, and to encourage you to shake off winter and make the most of the Spring and Summer months, I am offering you 30 minutes free coaching with the first coaching session you book in, potentially saving you a whopping £52.50. Be quick though - this offer ends May 31st!
Perfectionism, defined as “a refusal to accept any standard short of perfection”, is always something I’ve struggled with. Here are my top tips on how to overcome perfectionism and move forward with your goals.
During our 20s and 30s we seem to struggle for several years, trying to figure out who we are, what we like and dislike and what we want to do with our lives. We want to establish our own unique identity more than anything but the current climate frustrates this process by hindering our ability to become truly independent as debts mount, the property market is untouchable and jobs are few and far between.
In my eyes, today signifies the first day of Spring. It certainly might not feel like it as it's still bitterly cold but March, April and May are now on their way. Yay!
The other week I attended an EMCC workshop on Positive Psychology and its use in coaching. Many people think that Positive Psychology is just about adopting a more positive, optimistic viewpoint of a situation but its a bit more than that. Its about using your natural strengths and positives to better yourself and your situation.
Throughout 2012 I am offering one person each month the opportunity to experience coaching entirely free of charge with the aim that they will be so delighted with the results that they won't be able to doing anything else but spread the word of how coaching helped them.
When we’re on the brink of change, habitual thought patterns can hold us back. Being creatures of habit, our minds want us to stay in our warm, safe comfort zone. To stay put saves us energy and we know what to expect. We think we have things figured out and that helps us feel in control. That’s great unless we want things to change.
We could learn a lot from Mr Luhrmann. I was listening to the lyrics of ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)’ on the tube this morning and a few of his lines seemed to offer good guidance to life I thought.
I'm nearly 30 - I should be married by now. I should have kids by now. I should own a house by now. I should be settled in my career by now. I should not be eating this chocolate! Sound familiar? Sounds like a severe case of the 'shoulds' to me. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have all these things before a certain age. This post explores these high expectations, usually set by others, and how we can manage them.
In your 20s/early 30s and feeling a bit stuck, anxious, and unhappy? You could be experiencing a Quarter-Life Crisis. Here's a short video of me explaining what that is.
Maybe you’re feeling frustrated, disillusioned, or just fed up. We all feel like this about our jobs from time to time but what do you do if you’ve been feeling this way for a while now? A lot of people stay in their job because they don’t know what else they can do, or where to start in exploring their options. In this article, I take you through four key options that can help you determine what your next step might need to be if you currently hate your job and want to move on.
We all love a good list, however before you know it, the list is as long as your arm and becomes overwhelming. Here’s a hint from expert Jeff Herring, courtesy of Stylist, on how to tackle that to-do list and make it manageable.
On the 4th August this year, I will be taking on a cycling challenge like no other (!) through the closed roads of London and the Surrey Hills. It’s a modified version of the London 2012 Olympic Road Race, starting in the Olympic Park, which is pretty cool. The 100 miles however may not be so cool!
The School of Life recently ran an interesting talk on the fear of change. Dr Chris Irons, Clinical Psychologist, suggests that its the stress linked to change that we fear, rather than the actual change itself. With no frame of reference for the change, we fear the unknown.
Today’s sermon comes from that of Catherine Cardinal (appropriate name hey!), author of The Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem (1998). I love this short book because it is so simple and straightforward.
I don’t know about you but I’ve found this winter pretty grim. I feel like I’ve been in hibernation mode since Christmas. I have set myself the goals I want to achieve for the year but to be honest, I haven’t done much towards them these last two months.
A few days ago, I attended a talk held at The School of Life in association with Psychologies Magazine (both are great resources for those interested in self-development by the way).
Last week, I was interviewed for the Coventry Radio Plus 'Talk Business' show on what factors I felt contributed to my success. Weirdly, my first thought was "eh? I'm not successful. Why on earth do they want to interview me?" However, being interviewed for this radio show helped me reflect on how successful I actually am if I measure myself against what's important to me. Here are the factors I said in the radio interview have helped me get to where I am today.
There's not much of 2015 left. Where has the year gone? If you've still got business/career/life goals you want to achieve before the end of the year then this deal is for you: book a coaching session in for December and you'll get 90 minutes of coaching for the price of 60, potentially saving you over £50!
Having coached hundreds and hundreds of Millennials over the years, I have a pretty clear sense of what frustrates this generation about their jobs, so much so that they’re considering leaving, or even completely changing career, as a result. As the saying goes, “people don’t leave bad jobs, they leave bad managers” and I completely agree. Here are 7 key tips for managing Millennials in the workplace.
An excerise to develop positive thinking and appreciation. Have a read and give it a go yourself. It’s a little odd but the principle of it works wonders for positive thinking and learning to appreciate your life.
So I’ve started to hear people mutter those wonderful seasonal words, “My New Year’s resolution for this year is going to be...”. If you’re anything like me, you can’t even remember what you said your resolution for this year was.
This week, the research that I completed recently was published in the peer-reviewed academic journal, International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, which I was obviously delighted with. It is a short summary of the research, as the word limit was very strict, but it gives a good overview.
Remember that little lady, Gillian Mckieth? ‘The Poo Lady’, as I used to remember her as, who then went on to make a bit of a spectacle of herself on ‘I'm a Celebrity...’. Well, I'm beginning to realise she had a point. You are what you eat.
When we’re contemplating change, there are always decisions to be made. We can stay in decision making mode for a long time, going backwards and forwards as we think about all the pros and cons of the options we have before us. It can feel quite paralysing, so much so that sometimes we opt to just do nothing.
In a survey carried out by the World of Difference programme in 2010, 73% of Britons between 26 and 30 agreed they were experiencing a 'quarter-life' crisis, Generation Y's version of a mid-life crisis.
In June, Volvic released the results of some research they conducted as part of their 'Unstoppable' campaign, which found that by the early age of 25, Brits have lost the confidence they felt they had in their early 20s. Those researched didn't feel this confidence came back again until the age of 55 - that's a long time to wait! This post explores this reseach a little further.
I started my Life Coaching business five years ago. I’m not going to lie – it’s been, and continues to be, an uphill struggle. In a saturated market, it is hard to get clients. In this post I share the five things I’ve learnt that are fundamental to sustaining a full-time Life Coaching practice.
In this blog post, I examine the idea of changing things (career, relationships, life in general) as a way of finding happiness. Having worked through a lot of mindset challenges of my own since going self-employed full time, I have learnt that perhaps the answer is not to seek happiness from others, your career, or any other external thing. Perhaps the answer is to change the way we see and interpret things, examining what we say to ourselves on a daily basis about what we believe these situations say about us as a person.
This post seeks to explain what I do as a Life Coach and dispel some of the myths out there.
Back in September I was asked to write a short piece for the Christmas edition of Sainsbury’s Magazine, suggesting six ways to make the most of being alone at Christmas. The journalist’s article I was writing the piece for didn’t make it in to the magazine unfortunately so I thought I would share the tips with you instead.
Last week, I was interview by David Barry who publishes a small online magazine. He contacted me and asked if I would be happy to discuss my recent research on the Quarter-Life Crisis and what I did as a Life Coach. Of course I was delighted to take part and here is the interview.
Over the past few months three other coaches and I have been working away to launch a new coaching community called Mind The Gap for those in their 20s and 30s who are perhaps experiencing what feels like a quarter-life crisis.
I work with quite a few clients who would like to feel more confident presenting and speaking up in meetings. I went to a talk recently by Robin Kermode, one of Europe’s leading coaches to CEOs, boards, and senior professionals, who spoke about bringing authority and personality to your work, and the best way to maximise the effect of personal communication and the secrets to confident speaking. A few of his tips are worth sharing if you’d like to feel more confident speaking up.
Earlier this week, I was interviewed by a journalist for an article in Glamour Magazine about how it feels to turn 30. It got me thinking through the clients I've been working with over the past five years and yes, I'd say about 90% of them come to coaching when they're in their late 20s, regularly commenting that it was their looming 30th birthday that had triggered their anxiety about where their life was currently headed. There's something about turning 30 that shakes us awake and gets us asking questions about ourselves and what we want out of life.
Yesterday I sat as part of an expert panel at a Diversity & Inclusion event KPMG put on looking at the challenges ‘Five Generations in the Workplace’ will create for organisations in the near future. I was invited to take part in order to share my experiences of career coaching individuals in their 20s/early 30s (known as Generation Y or Millennials), and also my own perspectives as a member of Generation Y. In this post, I share the 6 key facts we all need to know about Generation Y.
At the end of each year, I like to review what I've achieved over the past 12 months, what's gone well, and what I'd rather forget. This exercise is a great way to do that. It also encourages you to think about what you'd like to get out of 2016. So, grab a notebook, or copy and paste the questions in to your phone, and get started with planning how you want 2016 to look.
One of the main things that seems to hold us back from getting what we want is low self-esteem. Try this exercise and see how your level of self-esteem measures up.
Short interview for AskimoTV on the quarter-life crisis, what it is and how coaching can support individuals in their 20s and early 30s going through this confusing and frustrating period of their life.
A while ago, Liz Robson from Glow Coaching introduced me to the concept of Vision Boards. I made my own shortly afterwards (see photo above) and it sits proudly in my living room as a constant reminder of the life goals I am working towards in my personal life. When I started my board I didn’t really know what it would end up like as I wasn’t really sure what I wanted. It turned out in such a lovely way that I often look at it and smile as I get closer to my goals every day.
In my role as a coach over at Mind The Gap, we’ve been working on putting together an exercise to encourage those in their 20s and 30s to review what 2013 meant to them, whilst also getting them to think about what they want out of 2014. The questions are great so I thought I’d share them with you.
It has struck me lately that the more and more technology develops, the less and less people are going to talk to each other. Not a good thing in my opinion.
When we're on the brink of change, our thoughts have a tendancy to hold us back. We start to think about all the negative reasons for not trying something new, all the things that could wrong, and all the reasons why we're not up to the job. We start to doubt ourselves and our ability to cope with the worst case scenario. Here are two ways to overcome these doubts and negative thoughts.
When you're thinking of starting your own business, it's incredibly helpful to talk to those who have already done it. This can help with gaining advice, helpful tips, and the inspiration to get started. This month, I interviewed Claire Thornton, a Registered Associate Nutritionist & Lifestyle Coach, to see what advice she has for those looking to start their own business.
I consistently see the fear of rejection as the predominant obstacle holding back my clients from performing at their highest potential. We possess several rigid demands that we try our damnedest to avoid in life, such as failure, negative judgement, loneliness, uncertainty, and imperfection. To me, they all hold one common factor – we must not be rejected in any way. Here are 13 ways to overcome your fear of rejection.